I think the easiest parts for me will be project management and craftsmanship. I like it when my projects turn out visually (or whatever else) appealing, so I try to put in effort towards making them that way. I'm also very nitpicky with projects so that definitely helps. Project management is simultaneously very simple and so viscerally upsetting for me. I like setting personal goals for when certain portions will be finished, but I have outlandishly unrealistic expectations for myself so when I don't meet them I get extremely frustrated. The most difficult parts will probably be questioning and the requirement of a public product. I used to be very curious but that doesn't exactly fly with a lot of people, so I've lost the art of asking questions and, as a result, self-advocacy. Making a public product isn't going to be difficult, but rather having the courage (for lack of a better word) to allow others to experience my work. Presenting has never really bothered me; the crippling fear of rejection and criticism, however, is a major setback. It sends me into a spiral when I'm creating of will people like it? is it good? what if it sucks? this whole thing is probably terrible. until I overwhelm myself and give up. It's a fun time.
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It's hard to get back on track when you were never really on track in the first place. My horrible homework habits have stayed from first semester, but now I have my equally atrocious sleep schedule fully in effect. The hardest adjustment thus far has been attitude and behavior. Physically I'm fine but mentally I'm dancing like this Christmas tree I saw on Tik Tok. I haven't focused on anything but my bead lizards since my beads arrived. I am not thriving in any sense of the word. If anything I'm just hungrier, sadder, and increasingly likely to snap.
Through this course I seek to better understand myself as a human person on this godforsaken hunk of rocks and sin hurtling through our ever-expanding universe. I want to answer some of the questions that fuel my nightmares riddled with existential panic. The less time I spend staring at the ceiling and wondering who am I? the better. Some skills I could feasibly develop would (ideally) be of the coping variety. Understanding the mind will be like flipping over the puzzle pieces; from there, I can use that base to find the answers and put the pieces together. It will also be very nice to have a basic understanding of the mind for when I write. It's easier to write proper characterization when you actually understand people.
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